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Instead, I Am A Golden Oriole

by Cold Water

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Digital download of Instead, I Am a Golden Oriole included with each CD purchase, as well as:

    *Handwritten thank you note

    *a couple surprise stickers & pins from Grimalkin Records

    Bonus items with digital download include:
    *jpeg of single artwork

    Per Cold Water, proceeds from CDs sales on Bandcamp go to Grimalkin Records.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Instead, I Am A Golden Oriole via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 28 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $15 USD or more 

     

  • Cassette + Digital Album

    Digital download of Instead, I Am a Golden Oriole included with each cassette purchase, as well as:

    *Handwritten thank you note

    *a couple surprise stickers & pins from Grimalkin Records

    Bonus Items included with both digital & cassette purchase:
    *artwork of single

    Tape proceeds go to Trellis Society's Aura House in Calgary, who provide support and housing for LGTBQ+ youth experiencing homelessness:
    www.growwithtrellis.ca/youth-programs/housing-shelters/aura

    Includes unlimited streaming of Instead, I Am A Golden Oriole via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 28 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

    75% of digital sales on Bandcamp go to the artist. 25% supports Grimalkin's future releases.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD  or more

     

1.
Come raising Cain, break the polestar gaze the host takes his praise in stride kick up smoke into the cloud hold my hand against the flame our red rover gates heave like sighs against a reaper tide we can hope it's not too forgone if I throw my key into the lake I keep running out of chances but there's one more I can take the next life is black & dark pray there is a different one bring strong your Friday anthem I will dance like a crocus in the wind stand atop the hill where I will be buried deep call my name as a funeral bell we can hope it's not too forgone I got a trick up my sleeve But instead I am a golden oriole when I thought I was a fox
2.
Foxgloves 02:36
Sometimes I stand hunched with my back to the wind with my collar high and on my right breast, an embroidered crest a forlorn deer blessed is the age of the bell and thread a knot for the cut line Huddled against the wind foxgloves steel the day long drawn shadow where it bends the other way Sometimes I stand with my feet in the riverbed where the flowers root in I don't love the rolling hills there but the colorful rows Huddled against the wind foxgloves steel the day long drawn shadow til it turns the other way that I'll face the day Not that dusk is magic light but the light will do not a full cup, not for lack of want that I still thirst Then comes summer, one high holy day then comes summer for a little while, we’ll take a break from all this shame
3.
Shortcut 03:24
loosening the ties of mine running off another time to find myself the river bends a new direction running off to another reckless course I took a shortcut through the field through a broken path of grass and dust where there are houses, once were hills and I can't take that shortcut anymore following the endless rows of the sub-divided homes it holds me down tinfoil over every window in the grow-up that was once my friend’s old house I took a shortcut through the field brought me to another place brought me to a brand new place There is a town full up with ghosts if you go back again you can’t go home again No matter the town you run away from you're still your father's son you're always your father's son I took a shortcut through the field and I can’t take that shortcut anymore and with every chance he gets, wants to take me to the track to see the horses run
4.
Wide-Eyed 04:23
We become wide-eyed til the sun kicks open the sky let it grow, let it grow til the joy overflows and we become wide-eyed We become heart broke cut me raw, and shake me to my roots I'm not hurt, I'm not hurt cover me over with earth and become old growth Let it in, let it in We become outside dogs the yard is big, the leash is long hold me close, hold me close or else just let me roam so above as it is below We become wild grass spreading far, distanced from the past but I don't know, I don't know how to hold back all the ghosts But I know how to open my eyes Take it in, take it in We become old guard fresh paint to cover up old scars but I confess, I confess that I still get depressed but I've learned to open the blinds Let it in, friend. Let it in.
5.
Born under the sign of the fall standing under the break in the sky every direction comes a snowblind glare so I shield my eyes Tossed off like a wish-song prayer, like a coin to the well spring I throw my guitar to the rocky shore Wear old pins like a talisman the heart beats to the hum of the earth pick up the old collection of song from what came before Sailor's rites for the prairie boy I'm a constant from way back despite the heavy fear found inside the well of the earth to bathe my worry clean I am blessed when it’s cold outside I am blessed when I close my eyes
6.
That was then and this is then I wept on my guitar again it's not perfect but what is for the life it is They all bid me to seed the cloud But I want to let them be Sing a song to the rafters Against your cruel laughter If I were a runner I'd sprint right through summer to the hibernation hue That was then and this is then I lost my voice again it's not perfect but what is for the voice it is vote for disorder and we fight no quarter hanging from a rail and we fight tooth and tack I rely on your strong back to carry me home Work around the dead keys and sing a duet with me If we total all our winnings we just might have enough if you try to be strong then I’ll try to be strong if you try to be strong I'll try to be strong revolving with each other two concentrics here
7.
Bad Words 03:28
from the off I swore I'd not become a cop but a cop I did become through the decades past I picked up a school marm drone and wave my finger like a scold smash the windshield out every word is a brick and you try to stand against it That's where bad words pour from my lips Comes out like a sigh smashing bottles by the trains but it feels like a fight On my honour bite my fuckin lip to not betray them That's where bad words pour from my lips they're begging us to settle down but we don't settle down that's where bad words pour from my lips beg you to apologize, but we don't apologize speak bad words under my breath begging them to settle down but they don't settle down that's where bad words pour from my lips bid you to forgive, but we don't forget
8.
More than figuratively blind staring deep into the white sun long shadows in the snow stretching like it were low tide with my finger to the flame dancing dervish like I don't care despite my cold fear how my gaze always extends my reach What we don't know could fill the annuls of halls by the river flow cuts a long way through with the lights down low we'd give voice to a bitter truth if we ever could trust Not on the page, but on the tongue out of the alcolytal mouths gutted the old house out stripped right down to the screws shield my eyes from the sun as if it were a warning light lace my boots for the drifts keep them tight so I can run More than figuratively blind staring deep into the white sun long shadows in the snow stretching like it were low tide can we take what we unearth of what we might find buried here? open canvas stretching out but there’s something underneath
9.
Hanging off the angles at the Rec My chlorinated skin like porous rock It's no Fire Island, on the concrete steps, waiting for a ride, as I can't drive, thinking about the waves painted on the walls Hiding a blush with a locker door stealing a glance at uncircumcised boys wring me out ‘til there's nothing more take what I get, dripping on the floor but ignore the waves painted on the walls It's a lot for boys to worry about evil just to follow the lines along the ceiling give my all to earn those badges left somewhere in some desk drawer Test the water with my toes do your best, just ten laps more it's cold in the water when you lose your breath the water's over my head, but I still tread among the waves painted on the walls
10.
Whipcrack 02:39
I'd like to wash my hands over every hurt and all the sleep I've lost over it underneath a light of golden coils, vow to grow my hair so I can bind it back. give me a song that will sound louder than a whipcrack Treat me like a book of good design piled high in another house that I don't own treat me like I’m not the same face with paths of crowsfeet in fresh snow give me a song that will sting sharper than a whipcrack I put new seed in the earth watch me try to dance Pavanne listen as a try to sing to Faure watch my old self bleed in the dust soon can't come soon enough watch my old self bleed in the dust soon can't come soon enough watch my old self bleed in the dust
11.
Lumber Dog 01:38
the way is wide asleep in a ray of light and the cover of clouds to fear no winter snowblind no vows just service acts no bows nor circus acts no collar just strong backs the paracosm of dogs that live forever the daunting weight is no burden at all Will you carry me when I get chopped down? If you carry me, I will let my guard down.
12.
Wild Aster 03:25
Even if they leave me far behind I'll find my way, I'll be just fine And when you wish upon a bloom a constellation, for a season, to regrow Everytime I go out walking I see the aster poking through free to follow, or free to roam fame it fleets, and life flows on and when you wish upon a bloom a constellation, for a season, to regrow a little garden here with some cats and a yard Even if they push me aside I can find some aster growing wild even if they push me aside I'm building up my strength again, slowly, in time Even if they leave me far behind I'll find my way, I'll be just fine Everytime I go out walking I see wild aster poking through but there's no room for curses when you're singing out the Fire Lake chorus locked inside a spiral, but it's an alright groove in which to be I wanna go there too, but is that freedom right for me? Even if they left me far behind everything'll be alright, I'll be just fine alright?

about

February 10, 2023: Grimalkin is collaborating with Revolution Winter to release the next Cold Water album, Instead, I Am a Golden Oriole.

The major outlet of one of Calgary's most prolific musicians (Cold Water, Fulfilment, GreyScreen, Stalwart Sons - among others) and artists (as a notable concrete poet of typewriter art, novelist, organizer of Starry Dynamo arts market, and label runner of Bart Records and Revolution Winter). The self-described "full-stack folk" of Cold Water has continued to hone their idea of playing folk music really loudly, beginning as something of an alt-country band, with a hardcore pedigree filtered through a healthy dose of Canadiana. This culminated in 2015 which saw the release of their self-titled LP "Cold Water" - a collection of smoky guitars, sailing pedal steel and grovelled vocals. Powering through the pandemic and finding a solid line-up, Cold Water have recorded their "Instead I am a Golden Oriole" with Lorrie Matheson in 2022, bridging that earlier moodiness into a more bombastic sound, with the charging classic rock country of "Golden Oriole", the Television-esque psyche dirge of "Cosmic Offering" or even one of the most naked expressions of the fear of been a gay teenager in the countrified "Bronze Medallion".

For the past decade, Kevin Stebner has been singing deeply personal songs steeped in poetic imagery with his country band Cold Water. On their long-awaited sophomore album, Instead, I Am a Golden Oriole, the quartet evoke the natural beauty of their home in the Canadian prairies, electrifying the most achingly vulnerable lyrics that Stebner has written about his life as an openly gay man. Compared to the gruff, gloomy tone of Cold Water’s 2015 self-titled album, their second LP runs the gamut of emotions. Lyrical themes range from Stebner’s fears of coming out as a closeted teenager to the strength he has gained from a life of contentment with his loving husband.

“The first record had a lot of songs dealing with serious topics, while this one has a lot more joy and things to be happy about,” Stebner explains. “The new guys in the band are joyful as well, so that definitely influenced what I brought to the table. There are a few songs that call back to the first record, but this one follows a few different whims into sonic tangents. These songs are a lot of fun to play, and that makes everything more spirited.”

Since his 2011 solo cassette, K. Stebner’s Cold Water, the band’s personnel has constantly shifted. “It’s been the kind of project where certain things will align and then it revs up again,” says Stebner. “A person will leave or come in and that will really change the dynamic.” Meditating on the painful experiences of his past and revelling in the freedom of overcoming them, the emotionally stirring instrumental jams of Cold Water’s second album were created by a band with a tight bond. On the nearly 10-minute “Cosmic Offering”, bassist Connor HD glides through the groove as drummer Andrew Hume punctuates his rhythms with frenzied fills. When Stebner and guitarist John Hadley unite their riffs in shredding guitar-harmony, they sound like Television’s “Marquee Moon” – darkness doubling and lightning striking itself.

There are traces of Stebner’s hardcore roots in the shouty choruses of “Shortcut” and the mosh pit pogo of “Lumber Dog”, perhaps the first punk song to include the word “paracosm.” The echoing riffs of “Wide-Eyed” give off a shimmering psychedelic rock aura. Yet on album opener and quasi title track “Golden Oriole”, the twang of Hadley’s pedal steel reveals that Cold Water are also perfectly capable of sounding like a classic country band. “It’s sort of a folk song played upbeat,” says Stebner. “The song is more of a place-setting, trying to evoke the feeling of being on the road in the prairies now, but with call-backs to 200-year-old folk songs.”

The song “Low Everlasting” was an emotional apex of Cold Water’s 2015 LP, broaching the subject of Stebner’s queerness with lyrics referencing Hüsker Dü, one of the earliest punk bands with two openly gay members. On this album’s “Bronze Medallion,” Stebner directly addresses his painful adolescent experiences such as the blushes he hid in the boy’s locker room. “It’s about growing up as a gay person and being closeted and afraid,” he explains. “When you grow up in a Christian household or a Conservative area, there’s this fear that you can’t be the person who you are. I was just being very honest about a feeling. It’s probably the most naked that I’ve ever been in a song.”

This kind of strength in vulnerability has only been made possible by Stebner finding his chosen family. Cold Water’s tough and tender songs delivered with a voice as sonorous as Sam Elliot prove that non-toxic masculinity can set a sad soul free. “I’m definitely at a different point in my life than the painful moments I sing about on this album,” Stebner says. “I have a wonderful partner to keep me grounded, so those fears are long gone. It’s all peace and happiness now, but I wanted to recognize the steps it took to get there.” - written by Jesse Locke

credits

released February 10, 2023

Vocals/guitars - Kevin Stebner
Bass - Connor HD
Guitar/steel - John Hadley
Drums - Andrew Hume

Recorded by Lorrie Matheson
Mastered by Brad Hawkins
Graphic Design/Cover Art: Justin Lafontaine

coldwater.bandcamp.com
@coldwateryyc (instagram)

This album is released on limited edition cassette tapes, CDs, lathe records, and digitally.

Proceeds from tape sales sold on Bandcamp will go to Trellis Society's Aura House in Calgary, who provide support and housing for homeless LGTBQ+ youth:
www.growwithtrellis.ca/youth-programs/housing-shelters/aura

75% of digital sales on Bandcamp go to the artist.
Per artist, CD proceeds on Bandcamp witl go to Grimalkin.
Lathe sales go back to Grimalkin since we break even if they sell.

Thanks to 15 questions for this interview with Kevin: 15questions.net/interview/fifteen-questions-interview-kevin-stebner-cold-water/page-1/

Much love to Read RANGE for covering this album: readrange.com/cold-water-golden-oriole/

Much love to Kathryne Lentes and Sihn Starr Cartia at Paper Phoenix Ink for this lovely review of this album:
paperphoenixink.com/2023/02/24/review-cold-water-instead-i-am-a-golden-oriole/

Much love to Cups N Cakes for this review: www.cupsncakespod.com/pick-of-the-week/2023/03/16

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Cold Water Calgary, Alberta

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